I’m a simple guy I have simple tastes

I like diners but I don’t like cafes

I like going out on the roller skates

But not those roller blades... no

And who do I go to to cut my hair?

It’s a barber, not a coifier

I’ve a rotary dial on my telephone

I like Tootsie Rolls, not Toblerone

I’m  a simple guy

Bowling and playing nintendo is

My idea of ecstacy

Simple man

Don’t try to change all that I am

Cause that’s the way that I want to be.

So give me a sandwich, I don’t want a wrap

I want iceberg, not that arugula crap

And caviar, it’s a food I despise

Give me a number 7 super sized

It comes with fries

And give me a shake, I don’t want a frappe

And I get my water on tap

Cause I’m such a

Simple guy

I like Ice cream not yogurt and chicken not tofu

And have you heard a word I said

Simple Man

Don’t spend your time trying to change what I am

Change yourself instead

I’m a simple guy

And have you heard a word I said

Simple man

Don’t spend your time trying to change what I am

Why do you always think you’re better than me

If my simple life is something that you can’t condone

Then just leave me alone.